Following the Breadcrumbs

Girls Watching - in process. January 2024

My world has shifted so dramatically in these last years. Moving from one art form to another, moving from being in front of groups of people to working in my studio alone. So many changes. But the shift is mysterious. I didn’t come to this knowing what it was I wanted to do. I thought I wanted to paint. But I wasn’t sure about it: did I want to paint only people, did I want to use oils only, did I want to abstract the images, could I include pattern in it in some way…?? And more importantly, would I actually like it, when I began painting day after day, and had the time to really dig into it?

So, I’ve been learning to really listen. To try to be aware of things that send a jolt through me. It’s subtle, but it’s the only information I have. And I find, as I listen carefully, the indicators get to be a little easier to discern.

I knew that I liked that moment when I would paint someone, when they suddenly embodied that image. So, it’s just paint, right? I’m just pushing paint around. But how magical is it that it suddenly is a person, sometimes a person I know. It’s like a breath of life enters. I still remember the moment many years ago, when I was painting, referencing a very old photo of my aunts as children. They were lined up holding their dollies. As I was painting, I felt that jolt when, suddenly, my mother’s face was just there. That family resemblance just blew me away when it “entered.”

So today, I am painting an image from a photo I took in Madagascar of two children leaning on a gate. Laying down paint. I feel such pleasure with each moment that the paint, the colors, the shapes suddenly are occupied by the bodies and forms of these humans that I am working to depict. Something as simple as a leg, when it suddenly is flesh and bone, holds a life and spirit that I find deeply satisfying.

I am working hard to pay attention to clues that might tell me what kind of art I want to make, what textures, colors, and forms I might make that send that mysterious jolt through my being.  Just following the breadcrumbs.